The Third Birthday

If you haven’t played this game, be warned, there are spoilers.

I just played The 3rd Birthday. You know, the game that probably should have been called Parasite Eve 3. But then, once you play it, you realize that it isn’t Parasite Eve 3. They could have named the game anything. Heck, I’m going to call it Source Code: The Hot Randomly Half Nude Woman Edition.

I liked the OverDive system of Aya being able to jump into random soldiers on the battlefield and use their bodies to kill the critters that you have to kill. Also, why did some random guy pull the name “Babel” out of his ass to name the giant structures the Twisted create? It’s totally un-Babel-like.

One thing I didn’t like is that in the beginning it’s pretty much said there’s ONE Babel, but then there’s like five.

Did it piss anyone else off that in Episode 2 or 3 you have to go back in time three days to save Cray because they need him alive and then you do that and then THE VERY NEXT MISSION you go back a year and find that Cray was a bad guy so you kill him… then he doesn’t exist in the future… which means that you should have just said “screw him” when you were told to go save his ass the first time and it would have been the right choice.

There’s no Mitochondria Powers or anything like that from the first two games. Oh, and you’re not even playing as Aya, you’re playing as her sister, who I thought DIED before the first game even began (of course I’ve not played PE2).

Oh, and what’s with Aya not remembering her past? Other than the obvious, she’s not Aya. Like, wouldn’t there be SOME RECORD OF HER!??! Did everyone forget how to use Google?

If someone input “Aya Brea” into Google, they’d probably get a pile of creepy fansites with poorly drawn nude images of her, but eventually, they’d come across something that said something like “She’s got Mitochondrial powers and is a Jedi stronger than Yoda” as well as stuff about the events of PE1 and PE2.

Oh, and what’s the deal with Kunihiko Maeda? Since when did he turn into a pervert? I liked him in the first game. In this one he comes across as a paedophile.

The book says that Aya and Eve lost their blood relation… HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?

The only reason I can think of why they didn’t call this Parasite Eve 3 is because they would have had to pay money to the guy who wrote the original novel. Because all of the characters in any of the games were original Square creations, they could do whatever they wanted with them, as long as it wasn’t called PE3.

Cool gameplay vs. Sucky story.

The gameplay is great, as I said. I just wish there was more of it. It took me two days to complete this game. No I didn’t play it nonstop, I have a life you know.

All I can say is I’m glad I picked this up for half price.


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